I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
