Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize