when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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