Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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