is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
