you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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