What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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