I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
