Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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