I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
