is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
