4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Two words: nipple clamps
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