he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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