His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
