no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
