after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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