it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
