MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
