They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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