Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
