Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
