Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
