All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
