this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
