ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
