remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
