I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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