State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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