Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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