I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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