her vagine was all disorganized.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
