playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
