Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
