just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
