suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
