I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
