turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
this hospital has no fireball
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
