Me. At least after what I've been through.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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