What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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