he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
