tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My balls are so social today.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
God, I missed his penis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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