Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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