I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
