Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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