Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
