Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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