Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My cat gives me a boner
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
