Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
