what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
