You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
