i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
