i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
