ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
