Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
